why i believe in UFOs

                           (and YOU should, too)

                                                              by j. baugher

I believe in UFOs. Let’s start by saying what a UFO is, and isn’t. Saying something is a UFO is NOT the same as saying it’s:

A flying saucer
An alien spaceship
A weather balloon

Which is not to say it couldn’t be any of these things. A UFO is, and only is:

Some shit
in the sky
That we don’t know
What it is.

That’s it. That’s all. Some shit in the sky that we don’t know what it is. A flying object that is unidentified.

An unidentified flying object, if you will.  That's all the term was ever supposed to mean.

And since the beginning of recorded history, there have been things in the sky that we didn’t know what they were. Things like the moon. Things like stars. And, also, things of a far more devious, concrete, and anomalous nature.

To start, I want to bring up three prominent incidents. These all happened in the United-est of States within the last fifty years. After class, you can EASILY find LOTS of information about these things with LITTLE EFFORT because they all had

MANY witnesses
MILITARY presence there
HEAVY press coverage

Okay, so, here they are: Kecksburg, Washington DC, and a little thing called ‘The Battle of Los Angeles.’ If you’ve heard of Rage Against the Machine, this was the title of one of their albums. First off…

Kecksburg, PA
What happened: December 9, 1965. Starting in Canada and ending in Pennsylvania, a large fireball whizzed across the sky, pieces of metal fell from it, and it 'landed' in the woods. The US military was sent in, and they removed something.

The official story: a meteor crash
What the military removed was ‘nothing.’ The reporters involved had their film confiscated. One of them, John Murphy, made a documentary about the incident, but had a little run-in with men in black suits who convinced him to give a severely watered-down version of what he originally intended to run. He was killed in a hit-and-run accident in California in 1969.
 

Such is life.

Washington DC
What happened: from July 13 until July 29, 1952, various waves of sightings of anomalous objects occurred. Dozens of objects. Objects flying in formation. The objects appeared on radar, and were seen over the White House and the Capitol. They moved in ways that appeared impossible for the aircraft of the time, and achieved incredible speeds. They were described variously as white lights, and orange fireballs with tails.

The official story: temperature inversion
The so-called UFOs were actually astral phenomena distorted by atmospheric conditions. They were also explained as meteors seen by overly-excitable witnesses.  Neither 'explanation' was given precedent over the other.

Well, then.

Los Angeles
What happened: On the night of February 24, into the morning of February 25, 1942 one or more UFOs flew over Los Angeles and were engaged by the military. Thousands of rounds of ammunition were fired at the targets, and three civilians were killed by friendly fire. The objects were not shot down, nor is there any indication they retaliated. The encounter lasted a few hours

The official story:

a false alarm
Apparently, the soldiers firing over a thousand shells at this object were actually firing at nothing. The army countered that the objects they were firing upon were real aircraft.

Hmm…

Conclusion:
I don’t expect a skeptic to be impressed by any of this. I’m not so egotistical as to believe a few of my words would sway anyone’s opinion, especially considering the skewed and biased way in which I’ve presented this information.

But here’s what I do expect. A good skeptic would dig a little deeper to come up with good arguments against the conclusion I’m baiting you with here. And I chose these cases because if you inspect them closely, you might feel, as I do, that something isn’t right. The government’s almost tongue-in-cheek arrogance when it comes to offering an explanation. The way they casually dismiss the witnesses, even the casualties.

Here’s what I’d like for the government to do: if you don’t know what it is…SAY YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS! If you do know what it is, and you don’t want to say, don’t insult the intelligence of the taxpayers who pay you six-digit salaries by lying to us. Or…

…come up with better lies.